My co-worker said to me today that I was kinda weak in clinical knowledge. I tried not to take it seriously and put it in my mind. Because I knew if I did, I would be kind of devastating and unable to concentrate on my work during a day.
Unfortunately, however, things haven't gone as I tried and I couldn't help but wondering myself a while.
I might have thought at first that she was in no position to say such a thing to me since she was absolutely being helped by me and dependant on me. Even so, I think I've never been arrogant or showing over about it. It's basically because she's senior than me and I respect the wisdom she might have gotten in her life. Besides I know the limit of my knowledge and I'd better be humble. So I was always extremely careful when I gave her opinions and advices to not to hurt her feelings.
But the later thing I was thinking about was directly related with my confidence as a professional. Am I really running out of clinical ideas on which I based to help patients and give them a care? It, of course, would be true that it's helpful if I as know as doctors about clinical symptoms. In fact, people in here kinda expect us to be pseudo-doctors and they might blame on me if I don't offer them stuff what they might expect me to have to.
After few hours, I've come to the conclusions. I admit that I am weak in clinical part and I want to know about it more. But I found out that what I want to know about is not things as doctors would do. Diagnosis and treatment are not my areas. Doctoring is not my job but also it's an abuse of authority which is very dangerous. What I gotta learn when it comes to clinical field is somewhat different. What I have to understand well is how the drug actually make it work out in our body systems, observation and study of patients' response to medication. I believe that's what I ought to do as a pharmacist.
Recognizing and freaking out on what she said to me is not shaking confidence, but changing of my belief. And I'm all happy about it cleared.
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05192007 | Delight
Stop being blue
Joan Miró The Gold of the Azure
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05112007 | The reasons I blog
People are usual. A person is unique.
I just cannot simply squeeze myself into the gap between those two. For me, it's not like entering a living room just as opening up a door of my room. There are so many stops I have to make on the road here to there. I wouldn't certainly be able to ask directly someone totally strange, say, "It's been told this summer is gonna start sooner than any other years from May. So global warming. It really is a problem now, huh?" or "Joan Surtherland is a hell of a singer, isn't she?". There should be something like starting saying hello, having each other's names, some awkward moments and pause, beating around the bush and pause again before beginning a real conversation.
The thing is I don't particularly feel comfortable when I'm at the parties or clubs. All the necessary steps I'd better be through in a real conversation usually make me weird out a little bit. I find out myself in most cases where I end up giving up exploring someone in front of me. And I will probably add it up to my list again that, like 'people are still boring' or 'people who have got something in common with me are few and far between'.
But that turned out to be not true when I looked at on a monitor. It seems a whole different world with whole a lot different people and I can't help but wondering, where the hell are all these people? Where actually do they live? I found it easier to get acquaintance with people I want to make friends via internet. As a matter of fact, I've met some important people in my life who affected on me a lot thanks to the online. And those relationships never would be worked out if that started from in a real world, I guess. Not to mention the distance of the locations.
So this is why I blog. I blog to meet you living at a secret-hidden place somewhere out there. :)
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I just cannot simply squeeze myself into the gap between those two. For me, it's not like entering a living room just as opening up a door of my room. There are so many stops I have to make on the road here to there. I wouldn't certainly be able to ask directly someone totally strange, say, "It's been told this summer is gonna start sooner than any other years from May. So global warming. It really is a problem now, huh?" or "Joan Surtherland is a hell of a singer, isn't she?". There should be something like starting saying hello, having each other's names, some awkward moments and pause, beating around the bush and pause again before beginning a real conversation.
The thing is I don't particularly feel comfortable when I'm at the parties or clubs. All the necessary steps I'd better be through in a real conversation usually make me weird out a little bit. I find out myself in most cases where I end up giving up exploring someone in front of me. And I will probably add it up to my list again that, like 'people are still boring' or 'people who have got something in common with me are few and far between'.
But that turned out to be not true when I looked at on a monitor. It seems a whole different world with whole a lot different people and I can't help but wondering, where the hell are all these people? Where actually do they live? I found it easier to get acquaintance with people I want to make friends via internet. As a matter of fact, I've met some important people in my life who affected on me a lot thanks to the online. And those relationships never would be worked out if that started from in a real world, I guess. Not to mention the distance of the locations.
So this is why I blog. I blog to meet you living at a secret-hidden place somewhere out there. :)
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05022007 | Some notable blogs of the day
During random blogging
I'm gonna put more up here later when I find them.
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I'm gonna put more up here later when I find them.
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